Oh why, oh why.

I make a blog to share my thoughts. My inner thoughts, my deepest thoughts. Yet here, in a sea of countless other "blogs" (whoever the Hell invented that word, among other common internet words, needs a pumpkin lodged in their ass) mine remains untouched. My blog, like so many before, and so many that will come after, will be alone. Unaware to the eyes of the public, to the people that walk by us, no one will know.

But I find that beautiful, simple, and serene. We walk down the streets, with countless other people just moving so swiftly along, never taking a second to notice each other. It's nice, the feeling of being a mystery. Not that anyone would stop and care to solve it, but it is a nice feeling after all. To be in a place where no one knows you, where only your appearance is what you're graded on. I don't mind. Personally, I think I'm quite attractive, but that's contrary to popular belief.

I wonder, if we took the time, to just talk to one stranger everyday for 5 minutes, what stories would we emerge with? What knowledge? I remember actually, waiting at a bus stop, with one thing on my mind, revenge. I spoke to an elderly female, she was maybe 70ish or so (you can never tell with all of today's cosmetic products). I know the whole Gandhi thing "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind", but regardless, the satisfaction of destroying that clowns car would have quenched my inner anger.

She kind of explained to me though, that feeding a negative feeling will make it grow. Made sense, maybe too metaphorical, but it did make sense. Is it wrong to feed a negative emotion though? Where is the balance in the emotions? Why is it right to be so happy, and when someone wrongs me I should be passive about it? So many questions, so little time. The opportunity was coming closer and closer, as I hopped on the bus and went straight into town. I saw that silver vehicle, the license plates matched, everything was how I remember seeing it when I saw it drive off. I was tempted, oh so tempted. Something just told me to stop though.

It's strange being a human and all, with all these emotions. I wouldn't mind being a plant or something. Actually, if plants did feel anger and joy (or joy and anger, however you'd like to prioritize it) it would really suck for them. I mean, for one, if they were angry they couldn't chase after the agitator. Maybe being the wind? What fun is it to be the wind? You have to travel everywhere, and carry all the toxins, poisons, as well as the foul odors everywhere.

Blog, blog, blog. No one will read, no one will care. Well, why bother? In the hopes that, maybe, somewhere out in the world of 6 billion (or however many people), someone is just as lost as me. Maybe that someone enjoys being lost in the world, as much as me too.

This is your captain speaking, goodnight - and signing off.

"Oh my beautiful dearest dove, if only your hand was in mine, I would promise to protect it for all eternity"